I used to think that God was bringing trials to my life to teach me a lesson I needed to learn. If I didn’t “get it,” He would keep sending me new trials (in different versions) until I did. In this way of viewing trials, God is like the exasperated parent, sighing deeply with a disappointed expression if I don’t respond well, or if I don’t change in the way He wanted me to. I guess I imagined that one day, when I “got it,” God and I would rejoice together, we would both heave a sigh of relief that I finally got it, and we could move on. I now see that this is so far from how God wants me to view Him.

Maybe there is some truth hidden in this scenario because after all, trials certainly refine us and hopefully affect our character (Romans 5:3-5). But, this viewpoint places all of the anticipation on my performance, or on ME and what I am doing. It indicates that what God cares most about is fixing me so I can start behaving better.

But, a closer look at scripture shows us that God is far more concerned that we are fixing our eyes on Him, rather than ourselves. The most important commandment we were given was to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” (Deuteronomy 6:4-5) In other words, rather than focusing our efforts on “getting it right” and changing our behavior, we are to focus our attention onto who God is and why we can trust Him. In this light, I see our trials as opportunities to exercise our trust muscles. God knows that as long as we are alive, we will have trials, some caused by our sin, and some caused by the fallen world around us. So, He knows that what we really need more than anything else is Him. Trials are an opportunity to run to God and watch how He will take care of us. He wants us to practice running to Him with the smaller things so that when the bigger trials come, it is our instinct to run to Him. In fact, when I think of the refining I’ve experienced from the trials I’ve gone through, the biggest change in me is one of having greater peace and hope in the face of trials. This is not the result of anything I did, but is a gift from Him. Sure, it came as the result of crying out to Him over and over, but its not my character and greatness that helps me. It is through interacting with my loving Father, and with time, seeing that His character holds. He is good. He is faithful. He loves me unconditionally. He gives me what I need. Our God is so good, that even our character is not what He ultimately is focused on. Looking again at Romans 5:3-4, we see that”we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces character, and character, hope.” Hope. That is what God wants for us. We have hope because of His unconditional love and ability to care for us…No. Matter. What.

Friends, if your trials are causing you to beat yourself up, or no matter what pain they are causing, lift your eyes up. Look at your loving Father who longs to show you His love right now. Work those trust muscles. Cry out, ask Him questions, bring your pain, anger, and even your mistakes to Him. He waits with loving posture to receive you. He can’t wait to interact with you.