My daughter recently announced that her favorite Inside Out character is Joy. That didn’t surprise me; she lives up to her middle name better than anyone I know. She finds joy in every day, even when she’s not particularly happy. But when she asked me who my favorite was, I surprised even myself by answering, ‘Sadness.’ And then I struggled to explain why. 

That question stuck with me. Why Sadness? Why would anyone choose Sadness, especially when Joy feels so much better? In time, I realized that Sadness was critical in turning things around for the movie’s main character, Riley. Sadness is also critical to all of us. And possibly the most neglected of our emotions. 

Avoiding Sadness 

When terrible things happen in my life or in our world, I’ll admit that my first instinct is to take action to fix my feelings. It might be in the category of researching to find a “fix” to my problem. Or it might be in the category of lashing out at an easy target. But it is extremely difficult to simply slow down and let myself feel the sadness of the situation. If I do start down that path, it often dovetails into finding a quick comfort fix in the guise of food, entertainment, or mindlessly scrolling on my phone. (None of these, by the way, actually help.) I wonder if you can relate?

As humans, feeling sadness is something we avoid on a regular basis because it scares us. Questions we ask subconsciously are: “If I go down that path, where will it lead? How do I prevent this from turning into a full scale depression? How will I get myself out of the pit if I plunge into it?” Feeling sad also seems completely unproductive. “How can feeling sad help my situation?” So we push those feelings aside, roll up our sleeves, and distract ourselves in the name of ‘moving on.’ But in reality, we’re just avoiding the pain.

We are unknowingly harming ourselves more than we realize by doing this. Ironically, we are keeping ourselves more “stuck.” This leads to less progress in the long run. I would argue that by allowing ourselves to experience the fullness of our sadness, in the presence of God, we will ultimately find ourselves more healed, more joyful, and more capable of experiencing the peace of God.

Some of us avoid feelings of sadness believing that is what God wants.  After all, he told us to trust Him, right? If we wallow in sadness, aren’t we just complaining and disappointing God? Maybe you are of the mindset that feelings don’t matter; only belief and action matter.

As a counter to this, let me offer a reminder of certain Bible characters who are recorded as having spent time “wallowing” or diving into the feelings of sadness. And remarkably, each of them come through their sadness with more joy, peace and purpose. Job, Hannah, Elijah, David, and Jesus himself are people we can learn from. They navigated hardships not by fixing, avoiding, or blaming. Instead, they felt their sadness deeply before God. By letting God minister to them, they found healing, hope, and the encouragement they really needed.

Lessons from Job

Job suffered an unimaginable amount of loss, affecting his finances, family, and health. Despite this, he chose not to shake his fist at God, as his wife suggested (Job 2:9). He did not blame others. Instead, he chose to feel his sadness deeply for a long time.

He persevered through the poor advice of his friends, continuing his raw, honest conversation with God about his miserable life. In prayer, he poured out his confusion, trying to make sense of his tragedy and lamenting that he felt undeserving (Job 31).

God met Job in his sadness. He did not come with condemnation. Instead, He offered a powerful correction intended to remind Job of God’s sovereign nature (Job 38–41). The comfort Job received was a realignment of his understanding of who God is. It was in the honest expression of his sadness that Job truly encountered God and was changed. He repented of his pride and the notion that God owed him anything, allowing him to finally move forward and find the restoration he needed.

Job’s story reminds me that I don’t need to hide my confusion or demand answers. I only to stay in conversation with God, even when it’s messy.

Lessons from Hannah 

Hannah is another wonderful example of someone who felt her sadness in big ways. She suffered enormous pain over the inability to conceive a child. Not only that, but she was taunted by her enemy about it. Hannah had so many “options” in how to navigate this pain. She could have lashed out at her adversary. Or somehow blamed her husband for her situation. She could have found a myriad of ways of coping. However, she chose to deal with her pain by crying out to God. She did not try to hide her weeping from her husband but also did not expect him to fix it. (1 Samuel  1:8) Rather, she took her weeping directly to the Lord. She didn’t offer polite, polished prayers; rather her pain poured out, raw and unfiltered. This display was emotional enough that Eli the Priest thought she was drunk. (1 Samuel 1:13)  Note that at the end of this prayer, Hannah was a changed woman. She left with the blessing of Eli and the peace of God, (1 Samuel 1:18) even though she was still childless. God eventually gave her the gift of a son. But long before that, He met her in response to her crying out to Him. He gave her the peace she longed for and that only He could give to her.

Many More Examples

These examples continue, and while I won’t go into depth about Elijah, David, and Jesus, I encourage you to study those passages on your own and look for the ways God meets them when they are honest about their sadness and bring it to Him. The Psalms are David’s gift to us and the way he dealt with his pain. He felt the sadness, rather than fearing it. Sometimes, he felt it for a long time before finding peace. 

What About You?

Friends, the road to peace and joy is often through the sadness. Not in trying to fix, deny, or talk ourselves out of our pain. The release from suffering will only come when we receive whatever gift God longs to give us. But we cannot receive His gift if we are busy with self-reliance or avoidance. What sadness have you been trying to manage on your own? What would it look like to sit with it, just for a moment, in God’s presence?

Bring your sadness before your Creator, who loves and knows you better than you know yourself. Keep bringing it to Him. He will meet you. I don’t know how or when, but I know He will, if you persist. God created you as an emotional being, not as a robot. He knows the sadness in you and longs for you to express it to Him. Interact with Him over it. Ask Him questions. Tell Him your honest feelings. And let Him change you from the “inside out.” 😉